Dear Little LiLing,
This is the adult liling talking to you now.u might think u have grown up and hence matured enough since u are in the double digit age era.well, i am here to tell you, YOU ARE NOT. and not even close. Please heed this advice for this will benefit u and will change your life forever.
1) STOP over eating. Stop requesting for chocolate milk and claim that u want to drink it to grow taller
2) STOP fighting for the BIGGEST drumstick or the MOST FATTY LAYER for all meat type.
3) With the above 2, u have every reason to be fat, so stop living in denial that u are ROUND in shape.
4) When u are 12, please work harder on ur math, this will REALLY HELP you ALOT in your PSLE
5) When u are 13, please join RHYTHMIC GYMNASTIC COMPETITIVE.dont be a wuss and back out.
6) When u are in 2/6, dont malu ur self buy smuggling biscuit in ur pencilbox and eat in class, this is why the class called u GREEDY for a reason.
7) When u are doing ur first english test, dont be stupid to play with ur earring making the earring drop in one of the textbook and the teacher have to accuse you of cheating. WRONG MOVE.
8) When u go to 3/5, dont be complacent that just because u are in a pure science class u will do better than the rest.
9) Having said that, dont piss ur primary school BFF CCM abt how nerdy/mugger she is and making fun of her english cos urs isnt ANY BETTER.
10) At some point in time, u will spend ur first three months in SRJC after O lvl. Do not be so flustered that u are in a co-ed school. Do not play around with guys. THIS IS THE WRONG MOVE
11) In ur PE class, u will meet a bitch called CLPW. DO NOT PISS HER OFF, JUST LET HER BE.
12) Ur PE teacher is ER.DO NOT HATE HER. U WILL APPRECIATE HER LATER
13) DO NOT BE DISAPPOINTED when u are posted to SRJC in JAE results
14) Instead of being so Kay Kiang, please choose H2:CME.H1:Phy if not u will be in the same class as CLPW
15) If u did not heed (14), dont worry, u are abt to meet one of ur best friend there CCRB. U just have to be nice to everyone and not be so arrogant
16) In JC2, u hit a high weigt of 61kg, u should start worrying abt ur size and stop denying urself
17) Shortly after, there will be a guy called JC who will comment that you are so fat that i block the whiteboard. DO NOT HATE HIM,without him u wouldnt have lost 20 kg and become the “me” now (:
18) There will be a fucked up face guy called WDL and he will try to be nice to you. He will talk to you abt how he is bright and mature all…DONT FALL FOR HIS FUGLY CHARM.BAD MOVE.
19) If u didnt heed (18), there is still time to get out of a whirlpool which will subsequently make u anerexic (more to that later), he will lure u into a corner of hougang hdb flat and try to rape you. DONT BE AN IDIOT ND THINKS HE LOVES YOU.
20) By JC2, you are pretty much aceing everything but not GP.better start studying and practising GP as this will HELP YOU ALOT IN UR CHOICE of university
21) If u still didnt heed (19), please dont hang out with him by his so called study dates. He is just making use of u to teach him math. U COULD HAVE USE THE TIME TO STUYDY/PRACTISE GP.
22) After u finish A lvl, DO NOT DATE WDL. A better guy will come along when u are 22.
23) Choose ur passion chemistry, dont be a fool to choose bioengineering thinking the name of the course SOUNDS MORE PRESTIGIOUS.
24) If u didnt heed (23), you will meet awesome friends, esp JHXJ. He is going to be a very good friend. Dont be charmed by his above average good looks. FRIENDZONE HIM
25) U will also meet a girl called LJ.she is a TOTAL BITCH who steals other ppl’s bf.
25) U will be embarking on a exchange program to USA.dont be overwhelmed when u see the coach factory outlet and leave ur camera in the shop as it will be stolen forever.